The Importance of Self-Care, Self-Love
We have all heard the instructions of an airline attendant reminding us to put on our own oxygen mask before we help anyone else with theirs. This advice is often cited as a metaphor for self-care because it seems to say, ironically, that if you can't take care of yourself for yourself, do it for others.
It’s so easy to keep putting self-care off - easy, that is, until we get sick, overwhelmed, or exhausted, and suddenly don't have the energy to care for the people who count on us. That's when we realise we haven't been getting the oxygen we need to sustain ourselves. We begin to understand that taking care of ourselves is neither selfish nor indulgent; it's just plain practical.
Slowing down
What I have observed and voiced in classes and on our recent Yoga Retreat is this idea of – slowing down, taking a breath, finding ease in the next breath, in this moment.
Taking time to notice, how you are feeling, what is around you, what you see, hear, touch, taste, smell. Slowing down, so that you can be as present as possible and then going inward. In yoga we call this pratyahara – the withdrawing of the senses.
Yes, this can mean putting yourself first, saying no to someone and by doing that you are saying yes, yes to YOU. It may be saying no to something that you generally would say yes to because it is expected or is supposed to be the “right thing to do!”, when you’d rather stay at home in the quiet.
Rituals
One of the things we talk about on and off the mat is the importance of rituals; small daily rituals that remind you that you are important. It’s about doing things that matter to you. It might be as simple as the sweet fragrance of flowers picked from a garden, drop of scented oil in a warm bath, a piece of rich chocolate or the sound of beautiful music. These are small rituals that cost very little but mean so much.
Other ways can be things like, starting your day with 10 minute journal writing, meditation, yoga or some form of movement. It might be having a luxurious bath with candles, a sunset walk on the beach, spending time in the garden, or reading, writing, dancing, cooking - whatever makes you feel joy, nourished and full.
Nature
Spending time in nature is such a good way of being reminded of the present moment. Most nights I attempt to get to the beach (when I am home) to see the sunsets – they always take my breath away. The sunset just happens, it doesn’t ask for anything, it just is, ever changing, and I love that. For me this is totally grounding, nourishing and fills me up. It’s my time for my feet to touch the sand, see the sunset, hear and smell the sea and to taste the salt of the sea ever so close. Those who also know me well, know that I love to dance – dancing makes me feel alive and happy.
This concept can be applied to the 8 Limb Path, the Yama of Ahimsa, the practice of being kind to self for the pure intention of peace within and the Niyama of Tapas, the practice of self-discipline, with the intention of focusing on what is important. That you are important!
With things the way they are in the world right now it helps to remember that we don’t need to completely understand, and in fact can’t, nor do need to predict the future. But by having rituals that we can use as ways of cultivating a sense of peace and focus we can go within and cultivate a sense of self.
Here’s a poem that sums up this message well.
Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Derek Walcott
Namaste - Maria
